comedy sketch involving a roomful of dissociative people trying to make dinner….
Hey, um….. You…. I’m hungry.. could we make dinner now?
I wanna eat. Let’s make something.
Huh? Uh- what? Ok.
What do you want to eat?
Umm… I don’t know.
Ok, hand me the thing…
You Know.. the THING. Over there….
Hand me the thing.
[phone rings] I’ll put the phone in the oven.
In the oven?
Yes, what’s wrong with that?
You don’t put the phone in the oven… they’re too tough to eat.
I know that.
Then why did you tell me to put the phone in the oven?
I said no such thing.
Yes you did.
You’re making this up….
You’re making it up.
Making WHAT up?
What about the oven?
Aren’t we going to eat?
I’m not hungry.
You just said you were hungry.
No I didn’t.
Who’s Out First (a parody of Who’s On First)
Ok, so who’s out first?
No Who was out yesterday.
Ok, I’m asking you who was out and you’re telling me Who?
Well who are you?
I’m not Who, I’m Nobody.
But you can’t be nobody – you have to be somebody.
No, Somebody’s generally angry.
Who is angry?
No, Who is happy.
Angry is also angry.
Of course angry is angry, but you’re definitely somebody.
No, I’m Nobody.
Ok, let me see if I have this…. you’re no one..
No, I’m Nobody…. No One was out this morning.
No one was out?
Yeah, No one.
Well if no one was out, who was I talking to?
No – No One.
Something’s wrong here….
No, Something has been sleeping for a while.
Who has been sleeping?
No, Something has been sleeping. Who was out yesterday.
But something has to be someone, doesn’t he?
No, Someone is a he, Something is a she.
Huh is asexual.
Excuse me, I’m going to commit suicide.
You can’t – that’s Suicide’s job.