Recently I was talking to someone who is also healing from her past. We got to talking about creativity and she inquired about how I do it, as for her she finds there are strong feelings of it won’t be good enough, or fear, and often she never gets to the creativity as she is unable to passby the fear.
We have fear almost everytime we do something creative, whether healing or not. That ‘not good enough’ voice from childhood is strong, that want to be perfect is strong and we are so very critical of ourselves. We also fear something painful being remembered through art, or something coming we can’t handle.
So what do we do? We do it anyways. It often takes just sitting down and starting, forcing ourselves to start, then as we go along, and get into what we are doing, it flows and we think less about it. Often the fear then subsides until we are done.
We keep a variety of art materials around, as many varieties as we can, even ones we don’t use often. You can get cheap basic sets of things in many stores, whether art stores or not.
Most important for us is that it doesn’t have to be a beautiful painting, it doesn’t have to be anything that is even recognizable. What matters is that it means something to us. Every piece we do has meaning, even if we don’t recognize it at the time. Each piece says something, expresses a feeling, or a memory, or whatever.
That is what healing throuigh creativity is about. Using art in your own way to further your healing.
One of the biggest issues for many survivors of abuse is being taught or told by the abuser to not talk, to not tell. This can be a huge obstacle to healing, to moving forward (which is what we mean by healing). We often find that we can find images online that when put together tell a story (even if others don’t recognize it as such). That is how we talk without words. It is a very powerful way for us to begin to talk, to begin to see that telling doesn’t mean being hurt again, or going to jail, or loved ones leaving.