Ash Wed.

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We have been doing really well with SI lately. We don’t want to conceive or carry a child while harming our body, that is like harming the baby, we won’t do that.

Yet today–

There is this urge to burn the body, not an urge really, it’s more like a need, something that someone inside feels she ‘has’ to do. That she is bad and she must pay.

We finally found out what ‘system’ this members is from, narrowed down who it is. She said some really strange things. We know most to nothing about what Ash wednesday actually is. We know someone inside knows but she isn’t speaking up about it.

This little is talking about how she was warned to not talk to not tell, or share or anything, and that if she did she would have to burn. That she would be turned into ashes for being a sinner and then they would use those ashes during ash wednesday. She’s terrified and we’re terrified. There is only one of us who is currently able to help us with this stuff inside, and we know she is working on it, but we all in the meantime feel terrified and just plain lost.

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