I am thinking of the contradiction of spring. The alternating warm-cold. The storms- the warm sunny days. It’s dramatic, yet peaceful. I’m reminded of myself. It’s been a rocky road towards healing, towards living in the now, learning that living is okay. It is about a lot of contradictions. The contradictions of memories of then, with the safe reality of now.
I think to recent years and how we felt, how the flashbacks, the emotions were overwhelming, the Si, the Suicide attempts, and now. Now there is a peace that wasn’t there before, A realization that life is worth living, even the life we live, different from much of society.
Spring is a painful time, a time of flashbacks and memories, yet this year there is something more, a realization ‘this too shall pass’, a realization that though the past did happen, it does not mean we are only our past, it doesn’t mean we are flawed either.