Monthly Archives: September 2010



We finally joined a gym. We have been talking about it with Kim for awhile now, shortly after Troy was born perhaps.  It has taken us this long to find one we thought would be okay for us. The Y was too expensive, the city has a rec center that has classes but they are pricey and a class feels sort of self conscious to us. Then we found out that the plaza Marsh is in was getting a Planet Fitness.  It is right down the road, about a 5 minute walk. It couldn’t be any more perfect. We have been saying we were going to join for a few weeks. We finally did it on friday.  We walked to Marsh and on spur of the moment just joined. It is 16$ a month comes straight from our account.  There is no commitment, which is nice. 

Today we went for the first time. It was nice. A few of us have been to a gym before and didn’t really like it.  There were always lots of very fit people, which we didn’t feel comfortable around even when we were thin, just an uncomfortable environment.

This was different today.  There were mostly overweight people. It was a relaxed environment and no really thin super fit people.  We did mostly cardio today.  The elliptical, the bike, stomach, oh and inner/outer thighs.  We felt really good when we got home. Energized, like we accomplished something.

Troy has been so fussy we have been so stressed. I guess between his teething, our migraine (2 day long), and now N is sick.  Kim watched Troy this morning so we could work out. It was just what we needed. I (ellie) didn’t realize that exercise is what I needed.  Turns out I need exercise to stay sane! Not a bad thing at all! 

I am aware from others inside that we have to be careful as addiction to exercise can be an issue for us. But I am aware, and that is a good start. 

I hope to go 3 days a week at first and work up to 5-6 cardio and 2-3 for strength.  They have a class sort of thing where they help you make a program to accomplish your goals. I am going to that tomorrow night.  I don’t want to say my goal is to loose weight, even though I guess it is.  I want to be healthier. 

I took my measurements today too. So we can track how we do as we go along. We compared them to measurements we took back in April. We have lost inches for sure, in some areas much more than others but inches are inches right?

Weight wise we are doing okay I guess. It is slow but I think maybe that makes it healthier?  We do struggle some days so that is part why the weight is coming off so slowly. At any rate we are down- 12 pounds total.  I’d like to loose at least 40 more, but 12 is a great start!  Wish we knew our prepregnancy weight but we can’t remember what it is.  We asked Nathan if he knew and he said he didn’t pay attention to it.  Seemed like a bad thing to take note of too him. We had to agree with that! 





I always seem to get migraines when the seasons change. I have no
idea why. Its just one of those things.

Saturday afternoon I got a really bad one. So bad I would have taken
Imitrex if I had any in the house and I hate the way that stuff makes
me feel.

It was one of my worst ones ever. Nausea, light sensitivity, sound
sensitivity, terrible. I took way too much ambien and fell asleep
early. This morning I felt better than I did feel but I still have a

I didn’t go to my in-laws for dinner, or do anything- except the
grocery and a load of laundry.

I am so very glad that my head does not hurt as bad as yesterday.

My mother had a friend who died of brain cancer. I always think of her
when I get bad migranes as that is how it started for her.


online journal <>

dinner and feet


Dinner and feet how do those subjects fit together? They don’t.

Today was our sis-in-laws birthday. We cooked her dinner. The littles
have been so excited and it went well. Everything turned out and they
enjoyed it. We gave her the leftovers as it was her birthday- that
has some upset as they don’t get any. We didn’t need any extra
birthday cake anyways. The fajitas are easy so no problem to make
them often.

Kassie enjoys cooking and it is relaxing for her, relaxing always a
good thing. With troy teething- we need to as much as we can!

Our in-laws are having dinner for Kim on sunday. Kim has said we don’t
have to go. We were there for our father in laws birthday last week
and it is a really tiny kitchen we had to go outside as we were having
a panic attack and we had to take some ambien. Kim was nice and
covered for us said she asked us to go out and watch her son. We
don’t think we will go sunday- but think we will send nathan and troy-
frankly we need some alone time to just unwind. What a perfect way to
get it.

Fee are so hard for us. We have terrible feet memories. We were forced
to stand on our tippy toes for hours as punishment. Our therapist
called it torture-not sure about that but anyways………. We have a
foot issue in the now as well. Our gp told us to see a foot doctor if
it didn’t get better and the pain continued or got worse and it has.
We are thus far keeping the pain from Nathan and our sis-in-law. We
don’t feel we deserve to see a doctor about it- or that we really need
to. Feels like we must be making it up.

online journal <>

Patches Mid Week Reflection


Troy has had a HUGE week! He is cutting his first tooth, is sitting
on his own for a few minutes at a time, and is crawling! Wow lots of
big milestones. I am having some issues with adapting to his rapid
changes but I’ll get there.

Tomorrow is my sis-in-laws birthday. We are making her dinner and a
cake. The littles are very excited about it. We have become close to
her this year, and she accepts us all which is great.

Liz has been front a lot. All the talk in therapy about the mother
triggered her front. she says she has no desire to talk about the
mother with Carolyn. We accept that though want more for Liz- we want
healing and an ability to move forward for her. Maybe she just isn’t
ready yet.

We are stuck on 11 pounds weight loss. We are walking 5 days a week,
but need to add in strength training.

Slowly but surely we are figuring out a schedule that works for us and
fits in different things we like to do. Its perhaps strange to
schedule our freetime. If we don’t however we stare at tv and do
nothing then feel bad after.

Emotion wise it has been a panic filled week. We know it is laregly
Liz but that is all we know. At least troy keeps us so busy we don’t
think about it much. Still there but not focusing on it makes it a bit
more manageable.



Why does Nathan make EVERY 7 pm meal for Troy a fight and so hard for them both? I’m really struggling to stay out of it!


Stop yelling at my child you ass! I don’t care who the fuck you are- you won’t yell at my child like I was yelled at. I won’t allow it.

I don’t know what to do about it anymore! It just gets worse and worse- and I get more and more upset. Troy is 7 months old now!

I’m about to call Nathan’s mom and ask her to talk to Nathan about it. I don’t know what else to do.

Am open to ANY ideas!

5 cherished childhood memories


What 5 childhood memories do you cherish the most?

-sitting under the dining room table with nana,who had to hunch over
to fit under there. Playing dolls or house or whatever. I honestly
don’t remember what we were playing only that I was having fun, and
that she was playing with me.

-sled riding with pap down their alley, it was so steep. It was so
special when there was enough snow to dig out that old runner sled he
had when he was a boy.

-going shopping on my birthday with the mother every year in Pittsburg.

-dressing our dog-gosgi up in baby doll clothes. He was soo tolerant!

The library. It was always a place of safety and endless possibilities.



why is it so hard for us to decide what to do blog wise? We seem stuck between here and blogger. We like blogger better but have many friends here.

What we would really like ideally is an online blog/journal that has blackberry app. It would be so much easier than having to get online everytime. That takes time we just don’t have!

Seems penzu may be closest to that which is why we joined but now who knows.

Anyone out there that have a blackberry aware of anything else?