I cut. I did it. It was too much. Too much stress and whining and
crying and snot and milk. Calling it Troy juice doesn’t make it not
milk. Milk everywhere. It was a bad day. We are sick, troy is sick.
Nathan is working overtime. Those aren’t excuses though. I got angry.
I cut as a way to deal with anger. As a way to expel that anger. Was
it the best way? No. Was it better than yelling at troy? Yes I think
Please don’t tell me that I shouldn’t have cut. That I have a baby now
and can’t do that. I know all those things already.
While I am confessing………. At some point we stopped taking our
celexa. The depression came back. How horrible is it to fantasize
about giving your 8 month old baby for adoption? I could give lots of
reasons why we didn’t take it, truth is, I thought we should be over
the ppd by now- he is 8 months old. I thought we could just deal with
any depression that was left. I was wrong.