Monthly Archives: January 2011

What is in our purse


I took this picture for the journal group.


Knowing when to stop and let go


“We observe, consider, work, and wonder, tilling the soil of our lives, planting seeds, and tending them. Sometimes the hard part is knowing when to stop and let go, handing it over to the universe. Usually this happens by way of distraction or disruption, our attention being called away to other more pressing concerns. And it is often at these times, when we are not looking, in the silence of nature’s embrace, that the miracle of change happens.”

I think this really fits well for me, for us. I think the opposite is true as well. Sort of like I was talking about in therapy today. Often with us, something, like me getting sick every January, happens to make me notice. To make me slow down, to check in with myself and rest. To attend to me.

It is very true as well that there is only so much one can do. Maybe that is part of why collages appeal to us so much. It is very much exactly like that. We collage and then let it be. Perhaps it is that letting it be, that allows movement. Allows change.

I often think of things as just stopping when I am not paying attention to them. It really is as though if we aren’t working actively on healing stuff, thinking of it, talking about it, whatever……. then no healing, no work is taking place. What if this is right? What if healing happens even in those quiet moments, those moments when we are doing whatever else? It seems that it is true. What if the most healing, the most profound changes happen in those quiet moments, those moments of distraction.

I like that- the silence of nature’s embrace. I imagine me with wind surrounding me, holding me. I think of rain falling lightly. I think of how nature is calming, centering.

I think especially of how I’d love to someday live in nature.



Therapy went well today. It was the first time that someone other than Sierra went. Not only that but I told her that it was me, Raine. It was scary to say that, but afterwards it went fine. The sky didn’t fall, nothing terrible happened. She didn’t say “no your Christi”, or whatever else I was scared of.
We talked a lot about my remembered sick. About how that felt. Then we talked about, it not being time for me to merge(per Eaglewings) and how I felt about that. It was nice to talk about it with someone other than Nathan. With him I don’t know- It’s hard often. I wonder/worry a fair amount that I am saying too much to him, stressing him out, but this I didn’t worry about at all. I felt FREE to talk. It was a nice feeling, albeit a bit strange.
Windy and Ice. My sisters. I think why Eaglewings told me I still have work to do, is because of them. Maybe they have to merge with me? Carolyn pointed out that without Raine there can be no Ice. That wind is breath, helps Rain move. It really struck something inside of me.
I think of Ice as cold. Carolyn too said that Ice is only around at certain times. That conditions have to be just right. That feels so very true. It feels like there is something deeper in that for me to get.
Finally downloaded Journal5. Turns out we didn’t have to pay 50$ for it, we got a half price coupon because we had a previous version. It is nice so far, different yet the same.

Goddess of fire, goddess of strength


Goddess Of Fire, Goddess of Strength

“The Goddess Companion”

The Goddess is an eye of fire,
born from a cauldron of strength.
The Goddess is a radiant fire,
born from an ocean of fear.

The goddess is strong and fearsome.
Her Magic is strong and powerful.
When she grows angry, she strikes,
and her enemies wither from her wrath.
~Egyptian Coffin Texts

The feminine force is not only warm and matronly, friendly and girlish. It is also a power of fire and strength, or righteous anger and powerful wrath. As the Egyptians knew when they honored Sekhmet, the wrathful lion Goddess of the sun’s fire, nature cannot be contained nor constrained within our human vision of gentleness and love. She is vaster than that. She is all the natural forces or purification and change; she is fire as well as earth and water.
So, too, each woman has the fierce fiery power of the primal Goddess within her. And there are times when that power should be used, nature. Once the purifying fire has done its work, the kindlier aspects of the Goddess will return.seasons when the soul, and the exterior of life that reflects it, must be purged and cleansed. A woman must not retreat from the challenge of using this power, for it is a part of her feminine

This Really Means Something to me.   I am not warm, matronly,friendly, or girlish.  I very much identify with the godness written about in that.

classic books


There is the 100 best books of the 20th century, the 1001 books to read before you die.   What we would like to do is just read some classics.   So we thought we would start with what people suggest.  So suggest something for us would you please?




“A third form of laziness is not having the determination to do immediately what you know to be the most important thing and wasting your time instead on minor activities. To remedy this, establish priorities among your projects, and remember that, while your days are numbered, ordinary activities are like waves on the ocean – there is no end to them.”

We do this.   It’s more though. It’s more like a determination to NOT do what I know is the most important thing.  I’m reminded of the idea that I don’t deserve to do what I want. That it is lazy. Why is it lazy? Because what is the most important for me, is usually not the most important for the system, or Troy, or even Nathan sometimes.  

This week we have been trying to do what feels important, what feels right at the moment and letting the rest go. Sometimes reading IS more important than laundry.  Sometimes just watching tv is better than cross-stitch.  

Meditation pops into my head. Alex is good at mediation, the rest of us really find it hard.  Really that feels like an excuse. I’m not sure we really put much effort into it. It’s something we definitely need to be doing, but aren’t.