internet and easter


Money is so tight we were/are planning to get rid of internet for awhile. Cable is definitely going.  We were sort of okay about it today- convinced ourselves. BUt now we are a mess.

We go to a forum- for DID people. We help run it actually but it really is a huge support for us. And we don’t know if we can give it up.  We are having an issue getting our phone internet to work with the site, and now we wonder if it is even a good idea to try to give up internet. Maybe it isn’t the same as nathan giving up cable? Maybe it is okay for us to need this? We can still drop internet down lowest and cheapest we can.  We could still pay off bills with the money saved from dropping down and cable but wouldn’t be as fast, but maybe that doesn’t matter how fast it is.  maybe staying sane is more important? We don’t know. Have to talk to Carolyn about it saturday we think. 

it’s now 2 weeks til easter and it has hit us. we are really struggling. Hard to admit to say that.  People celebrate spring and jesus this time of year and we can’t.  maybe that sounds not possible but it is where we are.   We spent the weeks around easter being tortured. Literally tortured………….   Want some examples?  Some ways.  read carefully you are about to get some.

Tied down to a bed spread eagle and left and tickled til we peed and then in troulbe cuz we peed

Forced to stand on tippy toes for hours

‘hunted’ he would chase us through the forest around his hunting cabin

tied and ants crawled all over us

locked in a box

we write that and suddenly doesn’t seem that bad. Like we should erase that it was torture, that isn’t torture is it. Therapist says it is.  We think maybe it isn’t just ‘strange stuff’. 

This post made no sense. sorry

upate- someone online suggested listening to music. Billy Joel is what we are listening to- it is helping, immensely


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