Monthly Archives: October 2011

35 things for 35 years

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-repaint bedroom and one kitchen wall
-loose 25 pounds
-take a class on something
-finish Japanese Garden
-do 5 sewing projects
@@@@”-work on father stuff
-Speak up 5 times when Nathan gets angry
@@@@@-make one local friend
-make scrapbook of troy’s first year
-read 70 books
-Grow some fruits/veggies
-journal at least once a week
-organize recipes
-do 12 collages
-try 1 new creative thing
-learn to knit (or at least try it)
@@@@@-get a job
-recipes of nana’s and her mom’s into computer
-talk to people at Troy’s library school
-finish 3 cross stitch pieces
– frame the garden bugs
-use a power tool to make a project
-learn to use a new power tool
@@@@-plant some things in the front yard
-read 5 spiritual books
– write and send letter to collective
-work through mindfulness book
-try one new thing
– go to at least one cross stitch monthly stitch in
-speak my mind 5 times when I have something to say
@@@@-see nana and pap
-meditate every other day
-do 10 things right away instead of procrastinating them
-read 10 books from our shelves

thankful thursday

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As part of my new mindbloom ‘game of life’ thing, I am restarting thankful thursday…………

I am thankful-

-our birthday is finally here- mimi is so very excited
-mimi is aging this year, that is so awesome
-not letting mother ruin our birthday even though we won’t get her gift until late, which she knows we need to get the ipod we have been saving for for months
-Troy
-cross-stitch
-life
-books
-birthday cake
-love

34 things in 34 years- finaly tally

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14/34- not even half. Not very impressive, but I did some things, some of them hard ones, so that is okay.  Some we started to put into works, but decided against them for now.

purple- did
red- in process
Tell Carolyn at least 5 memories  (We told Carolyn lots of memories.)
-talk about ‘hell week’ at least once-(spendt lots of time talking about it)
-take a quilting class
-take steps to get a job or go back to school(talked about fears in therapy, redid my resume, actively looking for a job)
-add a second dog(talked about it, decided we are getting a puppy, but not until next year, or the following)
-painting hall and ceilings(took way too long but it is done)
-repaint bedroom and kitchen
-loose all of or most of remaining 40 lbs(have lost 15 of the remaining pounds. Have had some bumps on the road)
-continue to go to gym(although I had a few starts and stops, part medical, part not, We are really enjoying it.)
-work up to adding a day of cardio
-make one local friend
-take up carpet and refinish rest of floors-wood is already underneath
-read at least a book a week(not literally a book a week, but have read more than 52 books, so I am counting it)
– make a scrapbook of at least 1 page a month for T’s first year
-see nana and pap(saw them at christmas, it was hard but glad we did it)
-do art collages that don’t have to do with healing or memories(this was fun, it is something we really need to do more of)
-finish 2 quilts
– practice freemotion quilting
– find new homes for 10 stuffies(harder than we thought, we have the ones we are giving away in a pile, but just having troubles deciding where to take them)
-finish mistress of wolves-(didn’t work on it as much as I wanted, but it is getting there)
get 1/4 done with japanese garden(this has been a focus piece this year, I am past 1/4 done)
-grow some veggies in spring/summer(took steps to this- we cleared out the back brush and the land is all ready to grow veggies next year)
-take one exercise class- or something non-quilt related
-do 3 small cross-stitches-(did 4 smalls that I put on one piece of fabric, plus an ornament for halloween)
-do 5 sewing projects that are not quilting(made a pillow, and a bunch of gifts for the kids for christmas)
-volunteer
-Learn to use circular saw then use it for something(Used it to make some shelves. It was fun and empowering, as well as something I plan to do more of)
-orgaize printed recipes
-organize recipes online
-say no 3 times when I feel pressured to do what I don’t want to do
-take pictures of nature not just of troy
-read 3 non fiction books(I read a fair amount of nonfiction books this year.  I have really enjoyed them)
-keep up with our dream journal(did not do this, but we did talk about the ones that stuck with us with carolyn, which is the purpose of the dream journal so we are counting this as done)

Panic

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Feeling panicky at the moment.  Panicky. I hate that, detest that. I’d like to cut, then it will be better. Troy though is getting at that age when he notices and I don’t want to teach him that.  I am trying so very hard and that is all I can do. Carolyn (therapist) says it is ok if I end up doing it, To forgive myself and begin again. Says it is a process.

Talked to her today. she said to not worry about insurance, that we will figure it out. That is such a relief as that was a huge worry the past few days.

So panic.    Just have to ride it out. That is most important thing we have learned. The more we try to put it off, the more we try to push it away, the worse it gets.