Feeling panicky at the moment. Panicky. I hate that, detest that. I’d like to cut, then it will be better. Troy though is getting at that age when he notices and I don’t want to teach him that. I am trying so very hard and that is all I can do. Carolyn (therapist) says it is ok if I end up doing it, To forgive myself and begin again. Says it is a process.
Talked to her today. she said to not worry about insurance, that we will figure it out. That is such a relief as that was a huge worry the past few days.
So panic. Just have to ride it out. That is most important thing we have learned. The more we try to put it off, the more we try to push it away, the worse it gets.