Monthly Archives: October 2013

October Blog Memoir Challenge- Post 8 Troy

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I’m participating in a blog challenge this month. I am doing it in art journal style. Each week there is a different theme.I’ve decided that 2 is a good number to go for. I am going to try to get 2 posts up a week for the October Memoir blog challenge.  If you are interested in learning more about this challenge- hop on over here.

This final week of the challenge the theme is Gratitudes and Regrets.  I chose in life to not think in terms of regrets. Although there are things in life I wouldn’t do over again. Had everything not happened as it did happen I may not have Nathan or Troy.

Instead I’m doing my entries on 2 people/animals I am grateful for. How do I put into words how grateful I am for my son.
When my friends said they never wanted kids, I always did. I always wanted children, ever since my mom was pregnant with my brother.  When I was in the middle of healing I decided I couldn’t care for a child. To try would have been very irresponsible. I could barely care for me, let alone someone entirely dependent on me.  I never imagined I would get far enough that I would be able to have a baby. Never imagined I’d be anything other than the disaster I was.  But I did.

Imagine my horror when Troy finally came, after finally realizing my dream, and my postpartum depression was so bad I dreamed of giving Troy away. I got through each day only with the dream the following day I would give him up for adoption.  I asked Nathan every day if we could give him away yet. He would say “No, lets wait just another day.”  My sister-in-law and my mother-in-law helped me through it. Both giving me invaluable advice on how to get through each day.  I finally got the help I needed, the medicine I needed. My world changed.   Finally I was able to enjoy Troy, to love him. To be amazed by him. I haven’t looked back.

Oh he drives me crazy as any child does. But I am beyond grateful for him.

The photos are his 2nd birthday where he got his first bike, his first christmas meeting his great nana, going tubing this summer in oklahoma, eating his first apple, riding pawpaw’s tractor, making his first snowman.

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Angie

October Memoir Blog Challenge- Post 7

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I’m participating in a blog challenge this month. I am doing it in art journal style. Each week there is a different theme.I’ve decided that 2 is a good number to go for. I am going to try to get 2 posts up a week for the October Memoir blog challenge.  If you are interested in learning more about this challenge- hop on over here.

This final week of the challenge the theme is Gratitudes and Regrets.  I chose in life to not think in terms of regrets. Although there are things in life I wouldn’t do over again. Had everything not happened as it did happen I may not have Nathan or Troy.

Instead I’m doing my entries on 2 people/animals I am grateful for.  The first is Mallow. He was the first dog I had when I left home. He was my best friend.  He was my dog, followed me everywhere. I’ve read that in life you get a few pets that are really special. Mallow was that for me.  Oh he drove me crazy as all loved ones go, but he was just in tune with my feelings. I swear he could read my mind.  He was there for me at a very dark time in life.  I cried into his fur many many times and he loved me anyways.

I went to a pet store to get gerbils one day, and this family had this dog with them, they were moving and couldn’t keep him.  He came right up to me and I fell in love. He had the softest ears.  It was mother’s day weekend.  He sure did bring color to our lives. He ate trash, underwear, and chairs. He loved pizza crust and pancakes.  He came no matter what I called him, except the name he had the first 1 1/2 years of his life.

He has been gone over 4 years and I still miss him everyday.

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Angie

October Blog Memoir Challenge- Roots and Wings-Post 6

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I’m participating in a blog challenge this month. I am doing it in art journal style. Each week there is a different theme.I’ve decided that 2 is a good number to go for. I am going to try to get 2 posts up a week for the October Memoir blog challenge.  If you are interested in learning more about this challenge- hop on over here.

This past week’s theme was Roots and Wings. I appologize for my late posts. I was sick. After I was well enough to be creative, I realized that my 2 pieces for this week really need to be viewed together. I held onto the first until the second was finished.

Roots art journal  roots close up art journal

I do want to say that this is just what came out when I did the first piece.. I do realize that abuse is not solely where I came from. Really it was just an experience of my youth. I did not come from abuse at all.

Wings art journal  wings art journal close up

This second piece is wings.  The wings I have recently grown. The wings I use to fly free from my past. I think the key in this piece for me is “the courage to live” because when you have abuse in your past, living is more scary then being where you are in your journey. Living is full of unknowns, living is terrifying.

This week is the last week of the challenge.  The theme is Gratitude and Regrets. I am working on my first piece, with no idea yet what to do for my 2nd piece.

October Blog Memoir Challenge- Secrets’

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I’m participating in a blog challenge this month. I am doing it in art journal style. Each week there is a different theme.I’ve decided that 2 is a good number to go for. I am going to try to get 2 posts up a week for the October Memoir blog challenge.  If you are interested in learning more about this challenge- hop on over here.

I never got a second post about secrets done. My son was sick, now I am sick. Rather than try to play catch up on a theme I have no interest in, I will just move onto the current week…. Stay tuned for my entries on this week’s theme of Roots and Wings.

October memoir blog challenge-post 5

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I’m participating in a blog challenge this month. I am doing it in art journal style. Each week there is a different theme.I’ve decided that 2 is a good number to go for. I am going to try to get 2 posts up a week for the October Memoir blog challenge.  If you are interested in learning more about this challenge- hop on over here.

This week’s theme is secrets. This was a hard theme for me. I thought seriously about changing it. I’ve had a blog many years now. I’ve also been doing collages for many years.  When I was in the darkness of abuse healing, I did a great many collages on different secrets and different memories I had.

I’ve moved beyond that now and have no desire to revisit those themes.

While I’m not yet sure how to get my next secret topic into an art collage, here is my first one.

Binge eating is something I am sure some of you are familiar with. For me food was always comfort. Eating made me feel better somehow. Though it also made me feel great shame, which started a terrible cycle.  I won’t say I don’t binge eat anymore but I will say that I don’t do it nearly as often and when I do I don’t eat nearly as much.

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Angie

36 years list

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Every year for a few years now- I make a list of things I want to do in the coming year. I do from birthday to birthday. Last year with hubby being in the hospital and all that I didn’t get my list done until sometime in January. As a result it wasn’t as long as usual. I usually do 1 item for each year of age.  I am okay with my outcome though 8/13 completed is pretty good I think. I wish I could have gotten half of my cross-stitch yearly list done but what can ya do?

exercise 104 times-104

8 art journal pages-5/9,7/30, 9/28, 10/3, 10/7, 10/8,10/11,10/13

complete half of Wipocolypse 7/17

complete 1 book challenge

             20/50 ebook

           16/15 authors

get massage

troy scrapbook- 5 pages

participate in alzheimers walk

finish quilt

1 new craft- art journal

try 4 things on pinterest- bean salad 1/23,brownie dip 2/8, best lemon bars 2/18, baked individual oatmeal cups 2/25

try 10 new recipes- chicken enchiladas 1/8, pizza quesadilla 2/6, veggie letter soup 2/17, baked sweet sour chicken 2/25,hash brown cups 3/6, roasted garbanzo beans 3/7, asian grilled salmon 3/24, sauteed scallops 4/5, orange chicken 4/16, cilantro lime chicken cacciatore 4/23

make art journal

lift carpet up

Angie