October memoir blog challenge-post 5

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I’m participating in a blog challenge this month. I am doing it in art journal style. Each week there is a different theme.I’ve decided that 2 is a good number to go for. I am going to try to get 2 posts up a week for the October Memoir blog challenge.  If you are interested in learning more about this challenge- hop on over here.

This week’s theme is secrets. This was a hard theme for me. I thought seriously about changing it. I’ve had a blog many years now. I’ve also been doing collages for many years.  When I was in the darkness of abuse healing, I did a great many collages on different secrets and different memories I had.

I’ve moved beyond that now and have no desire to revisit those themes.

While I’m not yet sure how to get my next secret topic into an art collage, here is my first one.

Binge eating is something I am sure some of you are familiar with. For me food was always comfort. Eating made me feel better somehow. Though it also made me feel great shame, which started a terrible cycle.  I won’t say I don’t binge eat anymore but I will say that I don’t do it nearly as often and when I do I don’t eat nearly as much.

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Angie

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8 responses »

  1. That looks healing. I made collages when I was binge eating, but they were always about what I thought would be a healthier way. I think a version like this might have been useful in there somewhere, a collage about what I was doing instead of about what I wish I was doing.

  2. I did find it healing in a way. In that I let the secret out which always makes it less powerful. It’s still something that carries a lot of shame for me though.

  3. It’s so powerful how you have all your comfort foods and then the words “Be perfect.” Of course, there are no perfect meals and no perfect people, so maybe it made some kind of sensible equation at the time. I love your last line “I’m breaking the cycle with determination.” Not diet, not exercise, not praise, not anger. Determination. What a valuable asset that such clarity can be.

  4. I am struck by the word, off to the side, “hungry”. It is so much a part of the cycle. It strikes me as so sad, the way it whines inside you like a child, “but I’m hungry”, and nothing healthy seems able to satisfy it. I fight the urge to over eat myself, as so many of us do.
    Check out my post for this week’s theme.

  5. The addition of “this is the perfect meal for one” on your collage is interesting. We do eat differently when we’re eating for ourselves than when we’re eating with others. I generally eat from four food groups every day (as long as chocolate is counted as one of the groups), but I don’t get them all in one meal. I think no matter how we eat, we feel guilty for something we consume.

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